Letters In Bottles
by Sirens And Muses
Summary: A simple grammer lesson gives young Lloyd a great idea that turns into an outlet for his thoughts as he grows older. Please review. Rated T for...some reason we can't think of right now.
1. How To Write A Letter

**Siren: Well, here it is. A real serious story. We've been toying with this idea for while now.**

**Muse: It just occurred to us that Lloyd, as a younger kid, might try to contact his real dad.**

**Siren: This isn't going to be real long. Maybe...five chapters? I don't know.**

**Muse: It's not going to change the plot-line or anything like that. Just adds something random to the story.**

**Siren: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Lloyd: Huh?**

**Siren: Hi! We just wrote a story about you!**

**Lloyd: Great...**

**Siren: Say the discaimer!**

**Lloyd: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or any of its characters. Can I go now? (poofs away)**

**Muse: Please review! We hope you enjoy our serious story. (bows)**

**Siren: (kicks in ass and runs) Bye!**

* * *

"So, let's say you want to write your father a letter. You'd begin it with, 'Dear, Dad.'"

Up until that moment, twelve-year-old Lloyd Irving had been paying no attention whatsoever to the lesson. In fact, he wasn't entirely sure what it was even about. But the second he heard that sentence, his hand popped up.

"Yes, Lloyd?" The teacher asked wearily. She was an old woman, due for retirement soon, and Lloyd was one of her reasons for it.

"Teacher, can you send letters to people you don't know?"

"Well," she said, surprised that Lloyd was actually asking a real question, "I suppose you can, but there wouldn't be much point in it. Letters are more for the purpose of having conversations with people you already know, who are far away."

Lloyd paid rapt attention to his teacher as she explained the proper structure of letters. When she began another lesson, he put his head back on the desk, but not to daydream or sleep. To think.

He wasn't sure when the ideas had popped into his head, but he'd always had a fantasy about his real father. He loved Dirk, and he was happy to call him 'Dad', but there was always that curiosity in the back of his mind. What was his real father like? Was he alive? Did he have a house somewhere, where he lived alone? Or was he at the human ranch, a place where Lloyd knew people went and never came back?

For some reason, Lloyd's vision of his father was built on a combination of super heroes in comic books and the stories Colette told him of the ancient heroes. He imagined him to be strong and tough, but have a gentle voice and a soft tone. He pictured his own brown hair on his father, sticking up in spikes all over his head. And, of course, like Mithos the Hero, his real father was a swordsman.

Lloyd had always admired Mithos because of his swordsmanship. It seemed like a noble weapon, and Lloyd himself wanted to learn it. He would practice outside his house every day with a wooden sword, pretending to slice up trees.

His daydreams, he knew, were nothing but fantasies dreamed up to make him happy. But it still made him feel safer when he walked through the forest to imagine his father, swooping down from the trees to save his long lost son from monsters.

"Lloyd!" The pre-teen's thoughts were cut short by Colette dancing over to him, tripping on a desk before righting herself and calling his name again. "Lloyd! Why aren't you leaving? Are you asleep again?"

Lloyd's head snapped up. He'd been so engrossed in his thoughts, he'd failed to notice that the class had ended.  
"I'm coming," he said, standing and stretching as his thoughts reverted back to real life.

* * *

That night, Lloyd was unusually quiet while eating dinner. "Something wrong, Lloyd?" Dirk asked.

"Ah, nothing," he answered, even though he knew Dirk would see right through it. Before he was interrogated any further, he stood up. "I'm finished. I think I'll go to bed, I'm kind of tired."

Once in his room, Lloyd pulled out a blank tablet and a pen. What should he write? 'Hi, how are you, I'm your son'? For that matter, _where_ should he send it to? Maybe he should just forget this whole thing…

But as much as Lloyd tried to push it out of his mind, the idea sat there, growing and expanding. What if his father never read the letter? What if he was already dead, as Lloyd suspected? What if someone else decided to answer the letter and pretend to be his father? What if it turned out to be a stranger, playing cruel tricks on him?

On the other hand, what if, by dumb luck, the letter _did_ reach his father? What if his father read it and came back for him?

There were too many questions. The only way he would ever find the answers to them, Lloyd knew, would be to send a letter to his father.

It took him a while to decide what to write; he'd thrown away at least a dozen sheets of paper with unfinished letters. In the end, he finally had what he considered to be a reasonably good letter:

_Dear Dad,_

_My name is Lloyd. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm still out here. Where have you been? I've been here, outside of Iselia. It's a nice place, Dad, and I'm happy here. I just thought I'd write to you, because I miss you. I don't really remember you. Where are you now? Do you think about me? What about Mom? Do you miss us? I give her flowers every day now, in front of her grave._

_Did you know that she died? I don't know how, but I wish I did. Then maybe I could tell you. Do you still want to see me? It's okay if you don't, I live with Dirk. I hope you don't mind that I call him 'Dad' now. He takes care of me, so he kind of is my dad._

_I hope you get this letter and remember me, Dad, because I do miss you and I want to meet you. I guess I was just lonely and was thinking about you._

And, after some thought on how to end it:

_Love,_

_Lloyd Irving_

Lloyd sat back to admire his handiwork. It seemed like an okay letter to send to his father. He stowed it inside his pillowcase, being careful not to rip the paper. He'd mail it tomorrow on his way home from school.

* * *

"Lloyd, who are you sending a letter to?" Lloyd looked up to see Colette, grinning as she peered over his shoulder.

"Ah, no one in particular," he answered, sealing the envelope. He'd gotten one from their teacher, who'd been immensely impressed that Lloyd was trying something he learned in class.

"Who's it addressed to?" she asked.

Lloyd shifted uncomfortably. Colette was his best friend, and she didn't keep secrets from him. Still, he wanted to keep this private.

"No one, really. Nobody you or I know," he said, smiling cheerfully. As a change of subject, he asked, "How'd it go at the Temple yesterday? Did you have fun with the priests?"

Colette's smile faltered. "It was okay. Kind of boring, though." She giggled. "We just learned about the Chosen's journey and stuff like that."

Lloyd grinned as the teacher clapped her hands together. "Lunchtime's over, back in your seats." Colette left, waving as she went to her seat.

"Today, we're going to learn about fractions…"

Lloyd stared at the letter on his desk, wondering how he was going to send it. He knew that Dirk would go to the mailbox at the entrance of town to get requests to craft something, and he'd send it back though the mailbox. But what if you weren't sure where to send it?

When class was dismissed, he made a beeline for his teacher's desk. "Um, Teacher?" he asked nervously.

"Yes, Lloyd? Something else about your letter?"

"Yeah, I was wondering," he said, "how do you send a letter?"

"Well, you send it through the mailbox, Lloyd. There's a person who delivers it to the person you're sending it to. You see, you just put the person's name and the city they live in and put it in the box."

"What if you don't know where that person lives, or their name?"

"If you don't know where to send a letter," she answered, staring down at her pupil threateningly, "you might as well put it in a bottle and float it out to sea! Young man, this had better not be some kind of a joke."

But Lloyd didn't hear the last part. It had just clicked in his mind. An idea, a brilliant idea, of how he could get the letter to his father.

"That's a great idea, Teacher! Thanks!" He ran out of the school, leaving his teacher to wonder what exactly he was planning on doing.

Lloyd rushed into the item shop. "Do you guys have any empty bottles?" he asked excitedly. He was presented with a glass bottle with a cork cap. "Thanks!" he yelled back as he ran towards the shore.

Why hadn't he thought of it before? The ocean went everywhere. If he sent the letter that way, it'd have more of a chance to reach his father! He rolled the letter up and stuffed it into the bottle, replacing the cap. Then he stood back and tossed it into the ocean, where he watched it float until it was out of sight.

On his way home, Lloyd wondered where his father was. Walking on the beach, maybe? Or perhaps he was traveling on a boat. Would he get his son's letter? And, of course, the question whose answer meant the most to Lloyd...

Would he send a reply?


	2. Where To Keep A Letter

**Siren: KRATOS ALERT! That means angst!**

**Muse: About time we updated this.**

**Siren: Shut it, Muse. Now, disclaimer!**

**(poof) Genis: Hi!**

**Siren: God, did you have to pick him?**

**Muse: Yeah.**

**Genis: Um, Sirens & Muses don't own ToS! Or Seles' annoying voice!**

**Siren: Kay, you can go now, Useless-sorry, Genis.**

**Muse: Oh, come on, don't you make fun of him enough in our parody?**

**Siren: What can I say? I haven't had much time to do the parody lately.**

**Muse: Hey, wait, weren't we on hiatus with all our fics?**

**Siren: Eh, I lied.**

**Genis: Am I in this story?**

**Siren & Muse: No.**

**Genis: (cries)**

**Siren: Geez. Review!**

* * *

It had become automatic. After his first letter, Lloyd's second letter wrote itself. And a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, and after that, it become a weekly ritual. He never skipped a letter, and everything went down on paper. His daily life became his father's story, packaged up and shipped off around the world.

Every event was told. When the Sage siblings came to the village. When Colette tripped over a cat and broke her arm. When Raine introduced Lloyd to his newest math tutor, Genis. When Lloyd still failed math. He was determined to keep his father informed.

Long after he knew he'd never get a reply, Lloyd continued writing. He remembered Colette saying something about a diary, how you wrote down your story and let out your thoughts and feelings. This was his diary.

Lloyd never told anyone about his letters. They were his one secret, the one thing he kept all to himself. Until Kratos came.

It was the middle of the night. The oracle had come the day before, and Kratos had, as he expected, been hired for the job. He'd been invited to stay at the Brunel's home, but declined, fabricating a story about a campsite he had to attend to. Instead, he walked along the shoreline, watching the waves rise and fall.

The only thing on his mind was Lloyd. Had fate really decided to torment him like this? It seemed only fitting, given his sins, but still…Lloyd…

Suddenly, Kratos heard a noise, a rustling. He drew his sword, ready for whatever would come. He waited and…

"Damn thorns! Ack!"

Kratos relaxed and sheathed his sword. He knew that voice, and that figure as it emerged from the tangle of bushes that had grown over the path.

"Lloyd?"

Twenty feet away, the teen stiffened, turning his head. "Kr-Kratos?"

"What is wrong?" Kratos closed the gap between them, standing next to Lloyd to look at his face. "Why are you out so late?"

It registered to Lloyd that this was a bit hypocritical. "Why are _you_ out so late?" he asked curtly.

The truth was, regardless of whether he liked Kratos or not, he didn't feel comfortable explaining himself. So he deflected, a technique that Kratos saw right through.

"If you don't want to tell me," Kratos said softly, "that's quite alright."

Lloyd relaxed. "It's not bad, just…personal."

"Personal," Kratos repeated.

"So, what about you?"

"I was having a bit of insomnia."

"Oh. Me, too, kind of. Anyway, I'm just gonna walk around for a bit." Lloyd left, waving as he walked down the beach. Kratos waited until he was a bit further away, then took flight, watching him from above.

It was wrong, he knew. An invasion of privacy. He was spying on his own son. Still, he didn't turn back.

Lloyd stopped and pulled something out of his pocket. With his incredible eyesight, Kratos saw a glass bottle with a cork top, a piece of paper tucked inside. Lloyd tossed the bottle in his hands a couple of times, checked around for people, and threw it.

With a splash, the bottle landed in the blue ocean, a good hundred feet away from shore. It floated away as Kratos watched his son leave. He was about to follow him when his curiosity got the better of him. After a moment of indecision, he chased after the bottle, snatching it from the cold waves and tucking it inside his pocket.

On the sand, Kratos landed, pulling the bottle out and uncorking it with a pop of his finger. Inside was a piece of white paper. He pulled it out and unfurled it.

_Dear Dad_

These words, more than anything, jolted Kratos. He was writing to his…father? This letter was meant for him?

_I don't know if you saw, but today, the oracle came. Colette is now the Chosen. So much has happened, I don't know where to start._

_First of all, I met this guy today, Kratos. He saved our lives and (although I'll never let him know it) is a way better swordsman than me. Do you think he'll teach me? I'm not sure I want to ask him. He is kind of a pompous jerk._

_Anyway, he's going with Colette on the Regeneration Journey, along with Professor Raine. I've decided, by the way, that I'm going with them. I want to protect Colette, I want to help her. I want to show up Kratos, too, while I'm at it._

_But there's another reason, Dad. You. You existed, you have to be out there, or at least a story of you. People don't just vanish. I promise, I will find you. And in the meantime, I'll make you proud._

_Anyway, guess what, Dad? I saw an angel. A real angel, no joke, wings and all. He's Colette's father. Can you believe that? I know an angel's daughter. Cool, huh?_

_I could go on for hours, Dad, but I'm tired and have to get up early tomorrow, so I'll just say goodnight and send this out. I'll write you soon, next time from the road!_

And the final words Lloyd wrote,

_Love, __Lloyd_

Kratos stared numbly at the piece of paper. Judging by context, this wasn't the first letter. He reread it again and again before finally folding it carefully and placing it in a place he knew he wouldn't lose it.

Kratos smiled back at his family, frozen in time. A fixed grin on his wife's face, his son, tiny once again. He slid the letter, folded into a small square, behind the picture. With a click, he snapped it shut and replaced the locket around his neck and tucked, hidden, under his shirt, where it sit close to his heart.

* * *

**Muse: AW! 'Where it sits close to his heart.'**

**Siren: I swear, Muse...**

**Muse: Isn't that cute, readers? Siren wrote something angsty and, yet, adorable at the same time.**

**Siren: (punches)**

**Muse: (gets punched)**


	3. How To Deal With A Letter

**Siren: Wow, this is depressing. Look, it sent Muse to the Emo Corner of Sadness.**

**Muse: (sniffles)**

**Siren: Lovely. Don't get snot on my floor. Anywho. In response to Moonlight M3lody, yes, you can quote this. Its incredibly awesome that you would want to. Cool. Also, Kratos borders on OOC in this chapter. But, hey, the guy can't be a total emotionless prick all the time, can he?**

**Muse: Yeah. Yeah, he can. Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Kratos: Huhwah?**

**Siren: (glomps)**

**Kratos: Yeah, don't do that. Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS. Or the clock that says that its three in the morning and they are just now posting this.**

**Siren: Did we ask for your opinion on our updating schedule?**

**Muse: Review, or we'll send the dogs out to get you. Seriously, we will. We know where you live. Even you, way in the back.**

* * *

Lloyd's hand shook. His handwriting, barely legible under normal circumstances, now turned out as squiggles and scratches. He let out an aggressive growl as he crumpled up yet another unfinished letter.

"Lloyd?" He looked up to see Genis staring at him from across the room.

Lloyd, Genis, Raine, and Colette were staying in the inn at- what had Sheena called it again? Meltokio? -resting up before they had to see the king. Colette was in the room next door with Raine. Genis, or so Lloyd had thought, had been sleeping. Now, he got up and stood next to his friend.

"What's wrong, Lloyd?" The half-elf sat down beside him.

"Ah, nothing. It's just…this thing with Kratos, you know? I can't help it, I'm pissed." Lloyd covered his face with his hand, then immediately put it down after remembering who he'd picked that habit up from. "I mean," he continued, "He just taught me so much. I can't believe that he'd…" He trailed off, not sure what to say next.

"Lloyd," Genis said quietly. "Forget about Kratos, just for a little while. We have to focus on helping Colette. And don't forget, if he really is our enemy, we'll see him again."

Genis was right, of course. Lloyd knew that. Even so, it didn't stop him from staring up at the ceiling, pretending to be asleep, thinking about it long after Genis was deep in his dreams. He couldn't believe Kratos would betray them, or that Lloyd had trusted him in the first place.

Lloyd bolted up in bed. He had to do something, anything to get his mind off of this. He had to start thinking about Colette's…illness, or whatever it was. He had to save her. For a split second, he considered going outside for one of his late-night training sessions, but thought better of it. It reminded him of how Kratos would watch him, commenting on his technique occasionally.

He pulled the paper and pencil out once again. If nothing else, it would clear his mind. He took a deep breath and tried to write another letter.

_Dear Dad,_

_I know it's been awhile since I wrote, and it'll probably be even longer until I get this to you. Right now, I'm in Tethe'alla_

He stopped. His father had no idea what Tethe'alla was. He'd have to write it all out, explain it. All he wanted to do was get this anger at Kratos out of his system. He finally decided just to write. After all, in reality, who was going to read it?

_I'm in Tethe'alla, waiting to talk to the King. Sheena said he might be able to help cure Colette. I hope so._

_Anyway, the main reason I'm writing right now is just to vent. You remember Kratos, and how I used to talk about him a lot? Well, I just found out that he was working for Cruxis_

Yet another thing he'd have to explain. Lloyd sighed. There was just too damn much that had happened since he'd last written a letter. It was…back at Luin. Right after they'd killed Kvar. After that, other things had occupied his mindset.

_He was working for Cruxis all along, and he betrayed us in the end. He tried to kill us, Dad._

_I think at the end, though, he choked. Although, that part's kind of blurry in my memory. I think he hesitated to kill us. I know in the battle, he held back. What kind of patronizing, condescending, asshole holds back against someone he just betrayed?_

_I hate him. I really do._

_Anyway, I'll write you again soon. Hopefully, things will be better then._

_Love, Lloyd_

Lloyd sighed, pulled out another empty bottle, and headed outside.

* * *

Kratos was waiting.

Over the past months, since the regeneration journey had begun, Kratos had been waiting. Waiting for the time to come when he'd have to do the inevitable. When he'd either have to abandon Lloyd or kill him. Waiting for someone to find out his secrets. Waiting to see the next letter sent out, just so that he could snatch it up and read it. And now, he was waiting on the shore for Lloyd to come.

Just like he'd expected, he saw the teen coming into view. He was dragging his sword behind him, making a line in the ground to follow back to town. Kratos felt a slight twinge of pride at this; at least Lloyd was thinking ahead a little more often. He sat and waited, hiding from his son.

Lloyd once again let the bottle fly from his hand, a motion Kratos had watched done dozens of times before. This time, though, it seemed more aggravated, more forceful than necessary. He watched as the red-clad swordsman turned and walked away, head down.

Kratos pulled his wings out and tore off after the letter. This had been his salvation, the only thing that kept him sane at the thought of what he'd done to his family. These letters were the only sign that Lloyd, even after he'd learned the truth behind his mother's death, still somehow loved Kratos.

He landed back on the beach, bottle already uncorked. His eyes ran over the letter once, twice, three times before he sank to the ground, halfway between humor and horror.

He'd never seen such a contradicting letter. Admittedly, Lloyd had no idea just how ironic it was, but Kratos realized how cruel it was that the letter that stated how much his son hated him was ended with _Love._

Kratos covered his face with his hands, his body shaking with silent, deranged, uncontrollable laughter and tears. Tears that he thought he couldn't cry anymore, tears that had long ago dried up, tears that now came through his carefully constructed mask at the thought that his son hated him.

Rightfully so, although that didn't make it any less painful.


	4. Why To Reply To A Letter

**Siren: (snore)**

**Muse: Siren. Siren, wake up. (shakes)**

**Siren: (snort) Whanow?**

**Muse: I'm putting this chapter up.**

**Siren: You woke me up for this?**

**Muse: Yeah...I'm tired.**

**Siren: 4:30 AM. Four-fucking-thirty, and this couldn't wait until tomorrow morning?**

**Muse: Uh...no. Guess not.**

**Siren: Okay. Disclaimer time!**

**(poof) Yugi Moto: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or me.**

**Siren: Review, please. Yugi, bring your big hair over here, I need a pillow. (falls asleep)**

**Yugi: Ew, you're getting drool in my hair.**

**Muse: Yeah...**

* * *

"Lloyd."

The swordsman glanced up. Kratos was looking at him strangely, with an expression he couldn't quite place. Concern, maybe? He shook the thought away. Kratos wasn't concerned about him.

"Are you alright? You don't look well." Kratos' hand reached out to feel his forehead, a gesture that he'd done many times on the regeneration journey. This time, however, Lloyd knocked his hand away angrily.

"Stop that," he grumbled. "I don't want a traitor's consideration."

"You may not believe me, Lloyd," Kratos said quietly, "But do I care about you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

Lloyd ignored him, choosing not to bring up the number of times Kratos' actions had proven otherwise. Right now, the group was going through the Iselia Ranch with Kratos, as much as Lloyd wished they weren't.

Kratos sighed as he watched his son walk ahead of him, steadfastly ignoring him. He didn't blame Lloyd; Kratos probably wouldn't speak to himself, either. But that wasn't important now. Lloyd really didn't look good. He was pale and had a barely noticeable limp. They fought a lot today, so it was no surprise the boy's stamina was running out.

"Lloyd." Kratos briskly stepped in front of him and blocked his path. "You're hurt. Let me heal you."

"I'm have the Professor do it," Lloyd said.

"Raine is with the other group," Kratos pointed out, shifting to block Lloyd as the younger swordsman tried to go around him. "She won't be able to heal you until we meet up again, and you'll never be able to defeat Forcystus if you aren't in top shape."

"Fine, heal me," Lloyd said irritably. "Just shut up with all the 'I care about you' crap."

His words stung Kratos, but he was just glad Lloyd was letting him heal him. "I really do mean what I say, Lloyd," Kratos whispered, but his son had already rushed ahead to catch up with the group after being healed.

Lloyd was trying to figure out what game Kratos was playing. Did he really care? Or was it all just some ploy to get the group to trust Kratos again? It was stupid, really, to think that Kratos could be a good person after what he'd done to them.

It didn't make Lloyd wish any less that he were, though.

* * *

_Dear Dad,_

_I don't think I've ever been more confused in my life. _

_At the beginning of this journey, Kratos was my friend, someone I looked up to. When he betrayed us, I felt so…used. He'd taken advantage of my trust. And now, he acts like he really is my friend, like nothing ever happened to change that. He said we were enemies, but he helped us go against Yggdrasill's wishes. Why?_

_He went back to Cruxis, which pisses me off more than anything. All along, he's been dropping hints as to what to do next, but he works against us. What is he doing?_

_Part of me still hates him for what he's done, but another part wishes he'd rejoin us. For a while there, I really thought he'd changed his mind. But it turned out just to be another lie._

_I'm tired, Dad, and really need to sleep. If anything new happens, I'll write you again. _

_Love, Lloyd_

Lloyd read it over and over again. It was a weird feeling. He'd never talked this much to a live person about Kratos before. He put the letter in the familiar bottle and left, heading for the shore.

To his surprise, Kratos was there, sitting on the beach. It was almost like he'd been waiting for him.

"Why are you here?" Lloyd's former hostility for the seraph returned. Kratos turned his head to face him.

"I don't sleep, you know that," Kratos said, turning his gaze back towards the ocean. "I needed to clear my head and think."

This was a lie, but Lloyd didn't know that. And Kratos wasn't about to say that he was waiting for his son to toss a letter out into the ocean so that he could read it.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Cruxis?" Lloyd asked, sitting down next to him. There was still anger in his voice, but it was mixed with curiosity.

"Yggdrasill won't miss me for one night," Kratos responded. "I doubt he even knows I'm missing."

"Why didn't you stay at my house? Dad wouldn't have minded, you know."

"I got the feeling," Kratos said, his voice neutral, "That you wouldn't appreciate it. After all, you do hate me."

"I don't…hate you," Lloyd said. "I'm just really, really pissed at you. Why are you with Cruxis? Can't you see how wrong it is?"

Something sparked in Kratos. "Are you trying to tell me you like the man who betrayed you?"

"Well, not really. Sometimes, like right now, I like you. But today, when you went back to Cruxis, I really hated you."

"So your affection comes and goes," Kratos said quietly.

"Why are you so concerned about my affection for you?" Lloyd asked.

"…I like you, Lloyd," Kratos said, although he wished he could be completely honest with his son and tell him he loved him. "I don't want you to hate me, even if I completely deserve it."

"Do remember the first day we met," Lloyd said, "when I came down to the beach because I couldn't sleep?"

"Yes, I remember."

"I lied. I was writing a letter." He held up the bottle as proof. "To my…dad."

Kratos didn't say anything. Lloyd pressed on. "I started when I was young, and now…I just write to vent. I sent some in Tethe'alla, too. I don't know how many times I've said that I hate you in my letters."

About twenty-six, Kratos thought. Out loud, he said, "I'd imagine a lot."

"The thing is, I never really meant it. Sure, maybe the first time I said it, I did, but you've helped us a lot since then. And I don't think you're really as twisted as Yggdrasill."

Kratos almost felt like crying with relief. He cleared his throat, however, and asked, "Did you think your father would answer you?"

"I don't know," Lloyd said. "When I was little, yes. Now, I don't really believe it. But it's kind of funny to think that there are hundreds of letters out in the sea, floating in bottles, and my dad could pick up any one of them."

"What would you do if he answered you?" Kratos asked.

"I don't know. Probably find out where he is, go see him." Lloyd stood up and stretched. "It's late. The Professor'll freak out if she finds out I left. I better go."

"Lloyd." Kratos stood and peered into his son's face. He looked much more grown up than when they'd started this journey. "I really am sorry that we are enemies."

Lloyd shrugged. "So am I." He turned on his heel and threw the letter in a graceful arc into the water, then turned and walked away without a goodbye.

Kratos stood there for a few seconds, watching the letter float, contemplating going after it. But the more he thought about it, the less appealing it was.

Lloyd had admitted that he didn't hate Kratos, that the letters had simply been written in anger that had faded. For that, Kratos felt incredibly lucky. But it changed nothing. Lloyd had too many reasons to feel animosity towards him, and when he found out the truth about his father-because Kratos knew he would eventually-he would definitely hate Kratos for lying to him.

Kratos sighed. The letter out in the ocean didn't mean much to him anymore; he knew exactly how Lloyd felt.

A thought suddenly struck him. He knew how Lloyd felt, but Lloyd didn't know how _he_ felt. That was what Lloyd had wanted, ever since he'd written his first letter, hadn't it? A reply from his father.

Kratos laid back in the sand, his eyes closed. He was thinking, already plotting out a letter to his son in his head.

_Dear Lloyd…_


	5. How To Fake A Letter

**Siren: Happy New Year, various readers!**

**Muse: May your next year be full of happiness and che-(yawn)**

**Siren: And late-night updating! Because everything's better when you're too tired to care.**

**Muse: Oh, so that you don't get incredibly confused, because I doubt anyone out there has memorized the game to the incredibly geekish extent we have, this takes place when the group goes to Heimdall to talk to the Elder about the Mana Leaf-thing.**

**Siren: We could probably recite the game word for word. Which is pretty scary.**

**Muse: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Giant Alarm Clock: Muse! You have work in the morning! That Arby's drive-thru won't work itself!**

**Muse: Oh, just say the damn disclaimer, okay? I don't need a lecture.**

**Siren: Just what was in this Mountain Dew that we're seeing a giant alarm clock?**

**G.A.C.: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS, Arby's, or random giant alarm clocks. Get to sleep. (poofs)**

**Siren: Review please!**

* * *

"Um, bud? You okay?"

Lloyd looked up from his plate to see the entire group watching him nervously. "What?"

"Lloyd, is something wrong?" Colette asked.

"You do seem a bit…edgy," Presea added.

"I'm fine," he replied, with a little too much hostility. Zelos raised his eyebrows. Lloyd sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Colette is all."

"No offense, bud, but I don't think that's what you're worried about. You didn't start acting this way until Kratos showed up at Heimdall."

"It has nothing to do with Kratos," Lloyd insisted.

No one pressed further, but Lloyd would glance up to see someone watching him hastily go back to eating their meal. He sighed and ate as fast as possible, finally excusing himself to lie in bed.

As he flopped down face-first, he felt something hard pressing against his ribcage. Rolling over, he saw that it was a bottle.

His first reaction was that it was a letter he'd forgotten to send. As he held it up to examine it, he remembered that he'd sent one just recently; he hadn't written another one yet. Being careful, he popped open the top and fished the rolled up letter out.

It was written in curvy, somewhat familiar script. Lloyd peered at it, feeling his heart pick up pace a little as he read.

_Dear Lloyd,_

_I want you to know that I have been keeping up with your letters. I am glad to hear from you, because I thought you were dead._

_What you heard about me from Kvar is true. I did kill your mother, and to explain the situation in detail would be an excuse. I am ashamed and guilty, and I deserve all of the hatred you most likely feel towards me._

_I am sorry for missing the past fourteen years of your life. I love you and miss you, and would give anything to change what happened. I am also sorry that I can't be a father to you right now, and whether I will ever be able to remains to be seen. Besides, you already have Dirk, which is good, because I'm sure he's a much better father than I would be._

_I'm proud of you for doing your best to help your friends and fix the problems of the worlds. I simply ask that you be careful and don't be reckless or stupid. Above all, I want you to be safe._

_One day, you and I will meet, and we'll have a chance to learn about each other's past, to be father and son. Until then, know that I deeply miss you._

_Love, _

_Your father_

Lloyd felt his fist clench over the letter, crumpling it. He recognized the handwriting, as well as the style and language of the letter. He stood up, paper ball still in his hand, and strode towards the door. As he flung it open, he heard a voice grunt in pain.

"Geez!" Zelos stood behind the door, a red mark on his face where he'd been hit. "What the hell was that about?"

"Lloyd, are you sure you're all right?" Regal asked cautiously.

"Yeah, fine. I'm just going for a walk." He took off down the stairs of the inn before anyone else could ask him more questions. As he ran, he felt a few tears of anger roll down his face.

* * *

Kratos was about to give up. It was pitch black outside, with only the moonlight shining. It was likely that Lloyd wasn't coming outside; why would he? If everything went well, he would be reading the letter and wondering where and who his father was. Just as Kratos was about to leave, he heard footsteps echo through the town. He turned, expecting to see a villager hurrying home.

He didn't expect the blow to his face.

With a grunt, the older swordsman fell backwards, more in surprise than pain. In a flash, he was back on his feet with his weapons out, facing his attacker.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Lloyd shouted. Kratos untensed and lowered his swords. "Huh?!"

"Lloyd, what are you talking abo-?"

"The letter! The damned letter!" Lloyd's hands shook, his breath ragged with rage. "Like I don't know _you _wrote it! Why?! To screw with me?!"

Kratos inhaled sharply. He hadn't expected his son to figure it out. "Lloyd, I-"

"I told you the one thing I keep a secret from my best friends, and you use it against me, to toy with my head!" Lloyd clenched his fists again. "If you really care about me, why do this?!"

"Please, let me explain," Kratos pleaded softly. Lloyd was silent except for his heavy breathing. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You faked a letter from my dad!" Lloyd yelled back, but some of his anger seemed to ebb away.

So, Lloyd didn't realize it, Kratos thought. Good. "I only wanted to cheer you up."

For a moment, the younger man stood staring at him, before finally turning and walking away.

"Wait," Kratos called after him, grabbing his shoulder gently. "Lloyd, please. I didn't think you would be this upset. I only thought to bring your hopes up."

"Hope?" Lloyd asked, his voice soft. "Hope for what? That my dad is alive? Please."

"Lloyd," Kratos pleaded desperately, "Please understand. You may still have a chance that he will answer you back, that he's out there somewhere, that he is alive. Never give up that hope."

Lloyd sighed. "I gave up on that hope a long time ago. I stopped expecting letters back, because hoping they would come only made it hurt worse." He walked away.

Kratos stood staring at his son's back, feeling something break inside of him. What was Lloyd going to do when he found out the truth?

"Lloyd," Kratos choked out. "Lloyd, wait, I have to tell you something."

"I don't want to hear it!" Lloyd yelled, covering his ears and running towards the inn. He was running fast enough and was too far away to hear Kratos' words.

"I'm your father," he said quietly. "I'm sorry." He sank to the ground, his face in his hands, muttering apologies into the darkness, over and over.


	6. How To Keep A Letter

**Siren: Okay! So, I know this is so short and crappy, so we'll be updating it with the last chapter tomorrow.**

**Muse: We hope.**

**Siren: This is during the Flanoir scene with Kratos, when they chat about Anna.**

**Muse: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Vyse: What am I doing here?**

**Muse: Oh, you're Siren's latest video game crush.**

**Siren: (squeal)**

**Vyse: Oh. Sirens & Muse don't own ToS or Skies of Arcadia. Hey, where are you taking me?!  
**

**Siren: (drags off) Come on, my amazing air pirate buddy. Review, please!  
**

* * *

"Wait. One more question."

Kratos turned around, the snow crunching softly underneath his feet. "What is it?"

Lloyd hesitated. "Did you…how many of my letters did you read?"

"The day you met me," Kratos said, "I read that one, and then I read every one you sent since then."

"Even the ones I sent in Tethe'alla?" Lloyd questioned.

"Yes."

Lloyd fell silent for a few moments. Finally, he said, "So, the reply you gave me was real."

"It was."

"…I'm sorry."

These words were the last Kratos had expected. "About what?"

"I burnt it," he answered quietly. "The letter. It was still in my fist, all crumpled up, when I got back to the inn at Heimdall. I was mad, so I…lit it on fire." Lloyd looked up guiltily. "I'm sorry."

Kratos tone softened. "Lloyd…

"I felt so bad about it when I found out I was your son." He sighed and frowned.

"It's alright."

Lloyd shook his head. "It's not! I was being stupid."

"It was just a piece of paper," Kratos said, soothingly.

"I know, but…you wrote it for me. And you went through all the trouble to reading my letters, and writing back."

"The letter isn't important," Kratos said dismissively. "The fact that it's been burnt changes nothing."

"Why didn't you tell me that night? That you were my-that I was your son?" Lloyd leaned against the edge of the balcony. Kratos sighed, realizing he wasn't going anywhere soon, and leaned beside him.

"I tried. You ran off before I could say anything, though."

"And before that?"

"…I told you to stay in Iselia," Kratos answered. "I tried to keep you away from Cruxis as much as possible, but I suppose it was useless from the beginning. I should've known nothing would stop you from doing what you wanted."

"That doesn't answer my question," Lloyd said.

"If you really want to know," the older man said, "I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"How you would react. Imagine, for a moment, that you and I were talking one night on the Chosen's journey. The subject isn't one that can just drop in."

"I guess you have a point," Lloyd said, grinning. "Still, I think I handled it pretty good, considering."

"…Well."

"What?"

Kratos cleared his throat. "You mean, you handled it pretty well. 'Good' isn't proper grammer."

Lloyd made a face. "You still can't stop correcting me, can you? I think I wrote about that in a couple of my letters."

"I still have them," Kratos said suddenly.

"What?"

"Your letters. I keep them in a safe place," he said. "So that I won't lose them."

Lloyd started to say something else, but it was cut off by loud yawn.

"Get to sleep," Kratos said firmly. "We'll have plenty of other times to talk."

"Yeah," Lloyd said, grinning. "Night, um, Kratos."

As his son went back inside, Kratos sighed and walked away. He had lied; the truth was, there would be no more time to talk. After this, Kratos would meet his son at Origin's Seal, and with any luck, he'd lose the fight. He didn't even want to think about what would happen if he won.

"Whine."

Kratos turned, seeing his son's pet coming towards him. Carefully, he slipped off the locket. He'd been planning on giving it to Lloyd, anyway. He was about to put it in Noishe's mouth, but stopped.

He popped open the locket and slid out the piece of paper. Lloyd's first letter. His son should have this locket. It was one of the only things he had to remember his mother by. But the letter, it was technically Kratos'. And would Lloyd really want it back? What use would it be to him?

He carefully slipped the letter into his pocket, making sure it was tucked safely down. He left the locket for Lloyd.

But as for the letter, Kratos decided he would just keep that.


	7. How To Find A Letter

**Muse: Didn't we say we were going to update this last chapter two weeks ago?**

**Siren: Oops...our bad. Hey, at least we did it.**

**Muse: We apologize. We owe you all pie.**

**Siren: We had PSSA's, which are insanely boring, dull, mundane, tiresome, trite, unexciting, uninteresting, unvaried, wearisome, tedious state tests.**

**Muse: And we were lazy.**

**Siren: Yeah...**

**Muse: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Edward Elric: What?! Where am I?!**

**Muse: We poofed you in. Say the disclaimer.**

**Ed: I was just saving an entire town from utter destruction! You've killed them all!**

**Siren: It'll be fine. Say the disclaimer!**

**Ed: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS, FMA, or the village they destroyed. (poof)**

**Siren: Review, please!**

* * *

Lloyd sighed and leaned back against his mother's headstone. Kratos' sword was lying next to him, where it had been since he'd left a few days ago.

He stood up, yawning. "Well, Mom, I'd better get going. I've still got some stuff to do before I leave. But don't worry, I'll come back and visit." Just as he was turning to leave, something caught his eye. It let off a glare in the bright sunlight. Lloyd leaned down over the back of his mother's grave and gently picked up the object.

A bottle.

He inhaled sharply. There was no doubt in his mind who had left it for him. He sat back down and popped it open.

_Dear Lloyd,_

_I know that you're going to be going away soon, so I hope this letter reaches you before you leave. I tried to leave it in a place you go often._

_You once told me that you were going to sail around the world on a boat you made yourself. There's little doubt in my mind that you're going to accomplish that goal. When you do, I have something for you to do. A game of sorts._

_After you made the pact with Origin, I wrote you more letters like these. So many, that it'll take you while to find them all. But I'm sure that won't stop you. The night before I left for Derris-Kharlan, I scattered them in the ocean around the world._

_Also, I found your letters. Probably not all of them, but as many as I could find. I have one detailing your fourteenth birthday, and one where you got a concussion from playing baseball with Colette. I brought them all to Derris-Kharlan with me, so I can read them over and over and learn about your childhood._

_Since you'll be reading more of my letters, this isn't goodbye. This more of a 'to be continued'._

_Love,_

_Dad_

So, Kratos had written him more letters. Lloyd smiled to himself. "Hear that, Mom? I've got another mission. Just like him to make me do more work."

Lloyd stood up and gathered his stuff. He was supposed to have met the others in Iselia by now. Man, he was late. Now, he just needed somewhere to put the letter, somewhere he wouldn't lose it…

He pulled out the locket he'd been given by Kratos. There was a thin space between the picture and the metal behind it. Just enough to fit a folded up piece of paper into it. A perfect fit.


End file.
